GRIEF IS PROOF THAT WE LOVED WELL

October 13, 2024 in GRIEF, MIND - bolutifea

Grief is often viewed as a heavy, unwelcome guest that takes up space in our hearts after loss. It’s painful, consuming, and can feel endless. Yet, if we look at grief through a different lens, it reveals something profound: grief is proof that we loved well. It is the emotional echo of the love we’ve poured into people, experiences, and moments that we cherished. To grieve deeply is to have loved deeply, and while the pain of loss may feel overwhelming, it also speaks to the beauty of the connection we once had.

When we lose someone or something we love, whether it’s a person, a pet, a dream, or even a version of ourselves, the grief that follows is a natural reflection of the attachment and affection we felt. Love creates bonds, invisible threads that tie our hearts to the people and things that matter to us. When those bonds are severed by loss, the heart responds with grief. It’s not a sign of weakness but rather an expression of how much that love meant.

Grief comes in many forms, but at its core, it is an acknowledgment of the depth of what was shared. It’s the heart’s way of saying, “This mattered. You mattered.” The intensity of grief is often a mirror to the intensity of the love we experienced. And while it may feel unbearable at times, it is also a testament to the richness of the relationships we cultivated.

To love well means to open ourselves up to vulnerability, to invest pieces of our heart in others, knowing that one day, we might face the pain of losing them. This is the nature of love—it is inherently risky because nothing in life is guaranteed to last forever. But the alternative, to never love for fear of loss, is not truly living. If grief is the cost of loving deeply, then it’s a cost worth bearing.

Grief also reminds us that the connections we make don’t simply disappear. The love we shared remains with us, even when the person or thing we loved is no longer physically present. It lingers in memories, in the ways that they changed us, in the lessons that we learned from them, and in the stories we carry forward. In this way, love transcends loss. Grief is the bridge between what was and what remains.

Though it can feel isolating, grief is also a shared experience. It is something that connects us as humans, because to grieve is to be part of the universal story of love and loss. It’s a reminder that we are not alone in our pain. Others have walked this path before, and many will walk it after us. Grief, in its strange and sorrowful way, is a reflection of the collective capacity to love deeply and profoundly.

Allowing ourselves to grieve is an important part of honouring the love we’ve experienced. So often, we try to rush through grief or suppress it, as though it’s something to be ashamed of. But grief is not a sign of weakness or failure. It’s a natural response to loss and an essential part of healing. To grieve is to pay tribute to the love that shaped us, to the relationships that added meaning to our lives.

While we might wish that we could love without the possibility of grief, it’s the very impermanence of life that makes love so precious. We love knowing that time is finite, that relationships will change, and that loss is inevitable. This doesn’t diminish the value of love; if anything, it heightens it. Grief, then, becomes a final act of love—a way of holding on to what was beautiful and meaningful, even as we learn to let go.

In the end, grief is a part of the human experience that we cannot avoid, but it also serves as proof that we’ve lived fully. It’s a reminder that we dared to love, to care, and to open our hearts to others. It shows that we had something worth grieving, something worth loving. And in that, there is a profound beauty.

Boluwatife Adesoye

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